


In Case of Fire; Break Glass

by BastardSonOfDay (Diana_Raven)



Series: Bingo Prompts [4]
Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Attempt by Burning, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-17 21:21:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14197926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diana_Raven/pseuds/BastardSonOfDay
Summary: Lucien tries to kill himself





	In Case of Fire; Break Glass

**Author's Note:**

> I am not suicidal. I have never been suicidal, it was a prompt. So, I'm... a little worried I wrote this wrong... I tried to write this as how I believe Lucien would have acted, however I'm not sure how well I did... so.......... if there's anything anyone would like me to change or add etc, please tell me as I probably will. 
> 
> Yeah. 
> 
> Prompt: Suicide Attempt

“ _I didn’t realize I was the villain in your narrative.”_

“ _You weren’t. Not really.”_

Lucien locked the door, and tugged at it for good measure. It didn’t budge. Good.

“ _NO! STOP! PLEASE! PLEASE PLEASE DON’T HURT HER! DON’T HURT HER!”_

_A smack, and blood began to trickle._

“ _JES!”_

He went through his mental checklist. Clothes were folded and put away (Cerridwen and Nuala would have killed him if he ruined those). Metal eye on his bed with a note to return it to Nuan. An apology written out to each Elain, Eris, and his mother.

There was nothing else he owned anymore, nothing else to keep him here.

“ _It’s time.” Tamlin said. He stood and began to change, morphing into his beast form._

“ _What do you mean, ‘it’s time’? What’s happening?”Lucien asked._

“ _What do you think?”_

_Lucien’s heart dropped into his knees. “Andreas. He’s dead, isn’t he?”_

_Tamlin wouldn’t look at Lucien._

“ _He’s dead.”_

“ _I can’t-” Lucien’s breath caught in his throat. “I can’t believe this. I can’t believe-” Tears stung his eyes and snot clouded his nose._

“ _We knew this would happen. Eventually.”_

“ _I know… But-”_

“ _I’m going Lucien. I’m going now, we have no time to waste.”_

“ _Just-Bring back his body, Tam. For burial. Please just do that.”_

_Tamlin closed his eyes, and set off without a word more._

Lucien felt the fire brew within him, bubbling and boiling until it poured from him. The fire flowed from him, rushing onto the ground like waves and engulfing everything in his path, setting the room ablaze.

What Lucien didn’t see because his eyes were closed was the glow that emanated from him, burning the room with a light so bright that it could have purged almost anything. Anything except the hopelessness Lucien felt within himself. Anything except the sadness. Anything except his death.

 

Feyre smelled smoke. She was on her way down to the library when she passed one of the storage rooms and was struck by the odor.

Not just the odor—she heard the crackle of a fire.

Feyre took off running.

The door to the storeroom was locked, but Feyre saw the smoke pool through the crack under the door and shifted so she was a little heavier and broke down the door, taking in the damage.

That was when she saw a flicker of burnished red, then tanned bubbling skin.

Feyre encircled herself in ice and grew her wings. She ran through the room, grabbing Lucien and growing ice around him. She burst through the wall of the room and the two of them hurtled into the snow outside—Feyre covering Lucien with herself to break his fall.

She put Lucien in snow, taking a quick glance at him. His skin was burned more in some places than others, and his hair was mostly gone, the edges (which were close to his head) were singed black, steaming in the snow.

She would deal with him later, right now she had to quell the fire in the House of Wind.

Feyre took off into the air and flew into the middle of the room through the hole she made in the wall. Feyre took a deep breath of oxygen and in focused her energy. She let out the wind within her and in one giant _woosh_ the fire was extinguished. As a result of the tsunami of air, everything pushed up against the wall.

And for the past several minutes, in her room, paralyzed from fear, Elain screamed.

* * *

The waiting room was silent. Elain was curled up next to Nesta in some chairs. She trembled, and Nesta looked murderous. Azriel sat on the ground, his head in his hands and he leaned against the wall. Cassian sat beside him, eyes closed as if he was half-asleep. Mor was on her way back to Velaris, she’d been ironing out some trade agreements with Winter. Amren flicked through a coffee table magazine. Feyre sat in a chair, nervously running her hands over one another, and playing with her cuticles. Rhysand worried an oval into the floor.

The door opened, and the doctor walked out. Everyone stood up at once.

“I think… we should talk alone, Rhysand.” The doctor said softly.

“If it’s about one of the Inner Circle, everyone should hear it.” Rhysand argued.

“Very well. Lucien’s burns are major, but with proper treatment he should be able to heal with minimal to no scarring.”

“So what’s wrong?” Cassian asked.

“…There was no accelerant around his wounds. And the burns… I’m afraid he might have done this to himself.”

“What?” Elain breathed.

“He wouldn’t do this!” Feyre argued.

“Lucien _isn’t_ suicidal.” Cassian said.

“I’m just telling you what I’m worried about.” The doctor said calmly. “I suggest you get him evaluated. He’ll be completely healed in a few days.”

“When will he wake up?” Rhysand asked softly.

“In an hour or so. But he’ll be in and out, and he’ll be in a _lot_ of pain. I suggest you don’t stress him, he needs to rest.”

“Thank you.” Rhysand said, dismissing the doctor.

“That’s ridiculous.” Feyre said almost angrily. “He _wouldn’t_ do that. He _wouldn’t_.”

“Yes.” Rhysand stated. “He would.”

Feyre looked horrified, like she was about to argue.

“Azriel, get my therapist; organize an appointment for tomorrow. Cassian, search his room. Feyre, keep your sisters from going ape-shit. Amren, call Mor.”

“What about Beron?” Amren asked.

“Don’t tell him anything—don’t tell anyone anything yet. For now, this is a family matter.” Rhysand ordered.

Rhysand turned to the recuperation room and went inside, closing the door behind him.

* * *

Lucien opened his eye, his upper lid heavy with pain and sleep. He lay on his stomach, his face pointed towards a wall. Rhysand scooted his chair closer to Lucien, who’s eye widened.

“Did you do it?” Rhysand asked.

Lucien closed his eye, unwilling to speak to him.

“Did you do it?” Rhys repeated.

Lucien nodded.

Rhys let out a huge sigh. “Why?”

“No one was supposed to get hurt.” Lucien whispered. His voice was raspy.

“Except you.”

Lucien didn’t respond.

“Why?” Rhysand asked again.

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me.”

A tear pooled at Lucien’s eye. It rolled down his nose and dropped onto the pillowcase.

“It’s… okay.” Rhysand said softly. “Don’t tell me if you don’t want to. But, we’re getting you evaluated. Lucien, I know what it feels like, to feel as though you have nothing.”

“I don’t feel like I have nothing.”

“Then what do you feel like?”

“…I’m tired. Can you go away?”

“Lucien, I’m not going anywhere as long as you’re a danger to yourself or others.”

“I would never hurt anyone here. You know that.”

“Then why would you hurt yourself?”

“I wasn’t- I wasn’t hurting myself. I was...”

“Just killing yourself.”

“You don’t need me here.”

“Of course we do! Trust me, Lucien, if we didn’t need you here you wouldn’t be here.”

“I’m just here because of Elain-”

“That’s not true.”

“-yes it is. I… wanted to be with Jes again.”

Rhysand felt his stomach rise into his throat.

“I’m sorry we made you feel that way-”

“You-you didn’t do anything. None of you. It’s Not-It isn’t your fault. None of this-” Lucien swallowed his words. “-I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

“Fine. But when you do, I’ll be here.”

* * *

Lucien swung his legs as he waited on the park bench. Therapy had gotten out about five minutes ago, and Rhysand was supposed to pick him up.

The Rainbow shone dully. Lucien watched as it sparkled. He scanned what he could see of the Rainbow boardwalk, when he saw the kid. The kid stood on the bridge, looking down into the water. It was a little before noon, which meant the boardwalk was empty (except for Lucien, of course). Everyone else was at work or school.

Lucien saw the kid step up and Lucien was out of his seat in seconds. He broke off in a run.

The kid was wobbly on their feet. They straightened and stepped up once more, onto the rail on the bridge.

“Don’t do it! Whatever you’re about to do— _Don’t do it_!”

The kid looked up, frightened. “Go away!” He shouted. Lucien noticed the long sleeves in the heat, the black bags under the kid’s eyes, the redness in the kid’s hands.

“Don’t. Jump.” Lucien pleaded, breath heavy as he skidded up to the kid. “Please. Don’t. Jump.”

“ _Go away! You don’t understand!”_

“Please.” Lucien begged. “I know it sucks right now-It really does. But it _will_ get better. Whatever is wrong with you or your life, it doesn’t go on forever. There’s more than whatever is going on with you right now. I promise.”

The kid trembled so much that Lucien was worried the kid would tremble off the bridge.

“You don’t _know._ ”

“Think about the sun, think about snow, think about small cute animals, and that the war is over. Think about that first breath you take after hiding under a blanket, think about how green grass is. Please, just think about anything else other than this.”

“You-You can’t-Just go away-!”

Lucien grabbed the kid’s leg. “Don’t do it.”

“Let go!”

“You go, I go.”

“Let me _go_!”

“You go, I go.” Lucien was terrified, because the kid-the kid was going to jump. He was sure of it. “Please, just step down. Live to fight another day.”

And the kid saw something, unbeknownst to Lucien, the kid saw something. The kid saw Lucien’s glow as it burned around him.

“Just, get down.”

Stunned by the light, the kid did. The light faded, and the kid wondered if they had just had a stroke.

“Do you want to get ice cream?” Lucien asked. Slowly, the kid nodded.

So Lucien bought the kid ice cream and they talked. Lucien recommended his therapist and gave the kid some resources.

Large wings announced the arrival of Rhysand.

“You’re late.”

“Sorry,” Rhysand said. He raised an eyebrow. “You don’t seem upset.”

“I found a way to cope.”

“Ready to go?” Rhysand asked.

Lucien nodded and stuffed the rest of the cone down his throat. “See you later, kid. Yeah?” Lucien raised an eyebrow.

“Yes, sir.” The kid promised.

Lucien nodded to Rhysand. “Let’s go home.”

Rhysand picked up Lucien and flew him back to the House of Wind. “Who was the kid?”

“Just someone in need of help.”


End file.
